Blonde Angel
Songs that are funny and sometimes a bit sad, but that's okay
ACT ONE
Phone call; Blonde Angel lying on the couch in the salon of his finca, smartphone on speaker; his booker with a headset pacing back and forth in his office, gesticulating wildly.
FIRST APPEARANCE
Angel. Booker.
B o o k e r (angrily, almost shouting). Dude, you can't just use such a ridiculous program title!
A n g e l (mischievously grinning). Why not? It perfectly describes what I do and what my audience can expect at an Angel show, right!?
B o o k e r (calming down and massaging the spot between his eyebrows with his thumb, index, and middle fingers). Look, I understand all the artistic development stuff and that you want to bring your, let's say, "more melancholic" songs to the stage. I know that it's important to you to balance "funny and serious," and I've already told you that I think you handle it brilliantly: your fans love the sensitive side of their funny Angel. And your new album, coming out in the fall, is amazing and the culmination of this evolution, best of both worlds really. But "songs that are funny and sometimes a bit sad, but that's okay"... (pauses.) Are you still there?
A n g e l. Yeah, sure. I just don't know what to say. I think the title is great.
B o o k e r. (sighs.) It's too long. Too unwieldy. The organizers will dismiss it outright. And besides, it'll just be shortened to "songs that..." or something in every newspaper. The columns in the event calendars are too narrow for such a titl…
A n g e l (angrily). Hey dude! You're always in my ear every other day to make TikTok videos and all that social media crap, and now you're worried about column width in newspapers. What about the digital age?
B o o k e r. (angrily). It's too long even for the digital age. Especially for that! (snorts.) Try fitting that crap into a Reel. It'll take ten seconds just for that, and if you don't grap the audience in the first three sec…
A n g e l (angered, shouting in a rage and gesticulating wildly). I write songs for people who have time, not playlist-compatible sound bites for vertical video stills! Same goes for the stage! I perform for an audience, not an algorithm! For people who are curious about me and my art, my songs, and their stories. For people who want to engage and take the time for it.
B o o k e r (sarcastically angrily). Great! Then you've found the perfect program title. Because that one will surely take a lot of time. (rolls his eyes.)
A n g e l (triumphantly). See, I told you so.
B o o k e r (shaking his head resignedly.) You do whatever you want anyway. Just please don't write me a drama as a press release.